Friday, 26 October 2018

The lonely

I reached out to technology today.

I asked technology to tell me how I felt. To play for me a song that would explain my feelings. I am not lonely because the loneliness is my company. The lonely stands by me.

Humans fail me time and again. I ended up on the empty side again. All that strength that was gathered was willingly given away by myself, distributed in the name of doing good.

Christina Perri sings and I let myself be accompanied by her.

I agree I am a ghost of a girl that I want to be most. The whole day, I am running around managing things, juggling between assignments, understanding emotions, being there for others. I drink my sorrow for breakfast and digest away my anger with it. This is the moment when I want to do that and that is when I am lost. I am not the strong girl but a vulnerable mass of emotions asking for solace in the hug of the lonely.
All remains is the shell of a girl that I used to know so well.

The question is, "Can the lonely take place of you?"

This question is to my grandfather, who is far from me thanks to death.
It is for my companion, who is far from me because time thinks it is still not the rihgt time.
It is for my friends, who are far from me because of culture that dectates the living conditions.
It is question to the universe, who is so close yet far because it can only guide me but cannot take action.
It is question to myself, can this void take place of the strong girl that stays within me and helps me.

Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me
And the lonely!!!

Monday, 8 October 2018

Today...

Today, the tears of togetherness flow from my eyes.
I cannot stop them.
I finally feel comfortable in what I am.
This has been the most difficult journey that I embarked upon as a child.
Today, the universe with its every action is moving closer to me with open arms.
I finally have found the one place where I can rest.
I have found the arms that hug me tell me that I am always welcome to run into their embrace.
The breath that fills my body tells me that I am alive.
The wind that attempts to calm the flowing tears is my best friend.
The warmth of the elements cocoons me.
The fire burns all my doubts, suspicions and worries.
The water cleans each wound healing it forever.
Toady, the tears sing a symphony of love.
The heart is full of gratitude.
The brain is full of awe.
The heart and the brain decide to live together.
These two buddies, cuddling together, a sight to behold.
A sight so reassuring.