Two
Experiences
I sometimes worry about my
responsibility towards society. I get all confused about how to contribute. I
have found that extending an empathetic conversation helps people. Though I think
that, through empathy I would be able to help people by providing them a
listening ear; it becomes a learning experience for me.
Today I would like to share two
of my experiences with total strangers.
I was out for some personal
work and it got over quite in time. It was around 3 p.m. and I climbed the
local train and got a seat as it was fairly empty. Hardly anyone was standing. It
was a ladies compartment. Surprisingly, it was calm. There was a middle-aged lady
sitting diagonally opposite to me, her head bowed down. I suspected she was
sobbing and was trying to control it. I felt an eager urge to talk to her, but
it did not seem appropriate to ask a stranger such personal things. I did not
want to be seen as impolite and disrespectful of personal space, even by a
stranger. I thought she would compose herself. I tried to think about something
I would do after reaching home. My efforts to divert my thoughts were in vain. I
strongly felt that I should help her in some way, without hurting her personal
space. My station was going to come soon. I had hardly 3-4 minutes to decide
and act. I was confused. Thousands of thoughts kept passing my mind. I noticed
that she was still unable to achieve composure. She was trying really hard to
control her tears and sobbing sounds. The other ladies were either ignoring it
or gossiping about it. I saw her answering her phone and just listening,
without providing an answer. She put the phone down. “There could be hundreds
of reason for her crying and no one should interfere,” my inner voice told me. I
stood up to go towards the door. I hesitated. I knew somewhere that she just
needs to know that it is acceptable to cry and at least someone understands
her. I went near her and asked her to stand. She was startled, but she did
stand up. I hugged her tightly. She hugged back and cried. I did not have
anything to say to her. I just said, “All will be well.” That was all she
needed to calm down. My station came and I went home. I still don’t know
whether it was right or wrong, appropriate or not; but I am glad I did it.
This was the incident which
taught me a lot about myself. As I said, I don’t know whether I helped her or
not. In retrospect, I feel I tried to show acceptance because I would have
liked to be accepted in similar situation. I strongly feel that it was more of an
act of courage than acceptance for me. Some other lady might have slapped me
for doing the same. I learned something about myself that day. I have the
courage to reach out, even though I am fully aware of the probable negative
consequences.
Now, this is a completely
different second story.
One day at around 8 p.m. when I
was coming back from Andheri station by auto, the auto driver started the
conversation with complaining about traffic near Andheri station. Then we
talked about the rains and the condition of roads in different areas. He told
me about the difficulty he had getting milk in the morning as the area he lives
in was quite flooded. Then, he announced that it has been almost a year since
he was with his family. He is leaving for native place at Jaunpur, Alahabad, in
four days. His brother has come here in Mumbai. Now, the brother will drive the
auto for a while, and till then he will spend time with his family. He was
elated and was emphasizing the fact that one should spend quality time with one’s
family. He cheerfully said, “Whenever I go, I at least live there for 2-6
months there.” Then, all of a sudden, he said, “You must be having kids, don't
you?” I answered that I was too young to get married and have kids. He
immediately answered back saying, “Nothing like that! When I got married I was
just 14 years old and my bride was even younger.” I actually did not expect him
to say that. It is different when a lady tells you something like this, but
when a man, you don’t even know, says something like this, it is a different feeling
altogether. While I was thinking about it, my stop came and I had to get down.
I actually said “Bye” and went home.
I understood that happiness can
be shared with anybody and people can actually be happy for you as I was for
the auto driver. I once again realized that I am fortunate to be born in a
family where my opinion is respected. I could see the language barriers and
cultural differences India, as a colorfully cultural country, offers. I was
able to understand the similarity of thought of a ‘Father’ about being with the
family. It was just a 10-12 minutes journey and I ended up learning so much.
These experiences make me
stronger as a human being. I have realized that irrespective of the cognitive
and emotional phase I am going through, I always find expressive human beings
around me and manage to behave humane with them.
