Two Experiences

Two Experiences 

I sometimes worry about my responsibility towards society. I get all confused about how to contribute. I have found that extending an empathetic conversation helps people. Though I think that, through empathy I would be able to help people by providing them a listening ear; it becomes a learning experience for me. 

Today I would like to share two of my experiences with total strangers.

I was out for some personal work and it got over quite in time. It was around 3 p.m. and I climbed the local train and got a seat as it was fairly empty. Hardly anyone was standing. It was a ladies compartment. Surprisingly, it was calm. There was a middle-aged lady sitting diagonally opposite to me, her head bowed down. I suspected she was sobbing and was trying to control it. I felt an eager urge to talk to her, but it did not seem appropriate to ask a stranger such personal things. I did not want to be seen as impolite and disrespectful of personal space, even by a stranger. I thought she would compose herself. I tried to think about something I would do after reaching home. My efforts to divert my thoughts were in vain. I strongly felt that I should help her in some way, without hurting her personal space. My station was going to come soon. I had hardly 3-4 minutes to decide and act. I was confused. Thousands of thoughts kept passing my mind. I noticed that she was still unable to achieve composure. She was trying really hard to control her tears and sobbing sounds. The other ladies were either ignoring it or gossiping about it. I saw her answering her phone and just listening, without providing an answer. She put the phone down. “There could be hundreds of reason for her crying and no one should interfere,” my inner voice told me. I stood up to go towards the door. I hesitated. I knew somewhere that she just needs to know that it is acceptable to cry and at least someone understands her. I went near her and asked her to stand. She was startled, but she did stand up. I hugged her tightly. She hugged back and cried. I did not have anything to say to her. I just said, “All will be well.” That was all she needed to calm down. My station came and I went home. I still don’t know whether it was right or wrong, appropriate or not; but I am glad I did it. 

This was the incident which taught me a lot about myself. As I said, I don’t know whether I helped her or not. In retrospect, I feel I tried to show acceptance because I would have liked to be accepted in similar situation. I strongly feel that it was more of an act of courage than acceptance for me. Some other lady might have slapped me for doing the same. I learned something about myself that day. I have the courage to reach out, even though I am fully aware of the probable negative consequences.   

Now, this is a completely different second story.

One day at around 8 p.m. when I was coming back from Andheri station by auto, the auto driver started the conversation with complaining about traffic near Andheri station. Then we talked about the rains and the condition of roads in different areas. He told me about the difficulty he had getting milk in the morning as the area he lives in was quite flooded. Then, he announced that it has been almost a year since he was with his family. He is leaving for native place at Jaunpur, Alahabad, in four days. His brother has come here in Mumbai. Now, the brother will drive the auto for a while, and till then he will spend time with his family. He was elated and was emphasizing the fact that one should spend quality time with one’s family. He cheerfully said, “Whenever I go, I at least live there for 2-6 months there.” Then, all of a sudden, he said, “You must be having kids, don't you?” I answered that I was too young to get married and have kids. He immediately answered back saying, “Nothing like that! When I got married I was just 14 years old and my bride was even younger.” I actually did not expect him to say that. It is different when a lady tells you something like this, but when a man, you don’t even know, says something like this, it is a different feeling altogether. While I was thinking about it, my stop came and I had to get down. I actually said “Bye” and went home. 

I understood that happiness can be shared with anybody and people can actually be happy for you as I was for the auto driver. I once again realized that I am fortunate to be born in a family where my opinion is respected. I could see the language barriers and cultural differences India, as a colorfully cultural country, offers. I was able to understand the similarity of thought of a ‘Father’ about being with the family. It was just a 10-12 minutes journey and I ended up learning so much.

These experiences make me stronger as a human being. I have realized that irrespective of the cognitive and emotional phase I am going through, I always find expressive human beings around me and manage to behave humane with them.