MiI reached Kolkata, more precisely Howrah station by 3:20 in the morning. I had cough and cold for which I still am on medication. In addition, the windy and cold breeze made my cough worse. And after almost four years, my voice is beyond recognition. Other than the fact that my parents are calling me on my phone, they do not have a faintest reason to believe that its me on the other side. Considering all this, I waited on Howrah station itself waiting for daybreak. Then, I headed to my rest house. I slept, bathed, ate, and did similar stuff.
Today, I learned something about myself. I am a person who avoids conflict, disorder, unrest. I would always go with others' opinions or choices unless doing so is wrong. I would place others' wishes before me. However, doing this may have led to my voice getting silenced, overlooked, or taken for granted. Today, I made all my decisions on my own. I actually lived by my choices. I don't know if they were right or wrong. They were my decisions and I feel responsible toward them. Let me confess something. I was considerably scared and confused before about all this. But, now, I have calmed down a bit. I feel like I am living my life for the first time. I decide the rules and limits here. Although there is significant amount of responsibility involved, it feels good to be under one's own skin.
After getting ready I went for lunch in a restaurant called Panna's Kitchen. There was nobody there. However, it was more interesting to find the restaurant than to eat in it. I wandered around the streets of Kolkata, the Behala area. It is an unkempt but warm city. People somehow knew that I don't belong here. The street vendors are quite different from those in Mumbai. I was happy to see ATMs and medical shops. One of the stationary shops mostly sold groceries. Most men on the road smoked which irritated me the most. My major shortcoming was language. I don't know Bengali. Today, everywhere I went, people started talking in Bengali. I took time to understand whether they are talking in Hindi or Bengali. Then, they turned to broken English or Hindi. I had problem understanding their bong accented English and Hindi, and they had problem figuring out what I was saying due to the cough.
However, I also observed that emotions surpass everything. I bought some things from an accessories shop. I told her that I don't understand Bengali; on the other hand, the only language she understood was Bengali. In spite of all this, I had the longest chat with her since I came to Kolkata. She inquired about my work, family, home, among other things. It is funny to see all the man-made barriers vanishing once a divine connection has been established. Believe me, it did not even take a complete minute.
I wrote this post sitting in CCD shop. The person working here told me all the places I should visit. He actually asked me to come again. This all started with him asking me how was my coffee and I telling him that it is sweeter than the one I get in Mumbai. He opened up saying that here people like it sweeter and thus no one had mentioned this. We went on and talked for a while.
Slowly, I am beginning to understand the decisions I took. I hope I am able to connect the dots.
Love you all. Miss y'all tremendously. <3
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