The Confusing Emotion of Love

The Confusing Emotion of Love

The world we live in is really a wonderful place.

There are a lot of things people wonder about all the time…

What am I doing?

Why am I doing what I am doing?

How did I end up here exactly?

Who am I?

Is this a dream?

Is the world progressing or … ? (with a cynical grin)

Why all the negative things are happening? (In general as well as in particular)

What is going to happen?

Will the future bear positivity? 

Will the ending be really happy?

After all this, I still wonder whether I am overthinking.

The questions that have bothered me the most in my mind wandering endeavors are about love.

Seriously, what is love? (No jokes, no sarcastic comment, a sincere question)

And yes, this is totally about attraction, infatuation, chemistry, ringing of a bell, so called romantic love I am talking, generally starting after puberty. Love expressed in all the other forms equally troubles me, but I can handle it. 

I have seen relationships. A lot of them. I always told myself, if this is what love is, I am better off without it. I read about love and watched this kind of love portrayed in many movies. Almost all the Bollywood movies have at least a tiny love story in their plot. Same is the case with books. Autobiographies, biographies, novels also are full with loads of descriptions regarding love. I took Psychology as my subject, so, I read about love there as well. However, the concept of love runs away from me. I never understand it. 

People say love cannot be explained, it is to be understood. Then, why people explain it? Are all these great artists’ morons? 

I understand the concept of companionship. I think that can be one of the aspects of love. But, can companionship alone be called as love?

Our psychology book said intimacy, passion, and commitment all three are necessary for successful relationships. Is the combination of three, love?

What happens when people say those three so called magical words? Does the world change?

Can life be fully lived without experiencing this feeling ever?

Like all the other differences among individuals, is the feeling of love different for each individual or is it the same? If it is same then, it could be defined easily? But, it is not apparently that easy. So many people talk about love, but no one person’s experience is exactly same as the other. So, there is no consensus. Here, love becomes subjective.

What function does it serve in our lives?

Do you miss love and feel the void when you do not feel it?

Love is said to be universal, but can love in its essence be accepting towards all the people with all of their characteristics. 

Can love be negative? 

People say that it is easy to love someone than hate that person. Love comes naturally.

If the feeling of love is natural, then how do we start hating someone, sometimes, even without a reason?

The more books I read, the more movies I see, the more I talk to people, and the more I observe relationships, the more ambiguous becomes the concept of love.

I know people would say why I am thinking about love. I should experience it. 

The most fundamental problem of understanding love lies here. A person cannot love somebody with a proper planning and implementation program. People say they fall in love. No one jumps in love as an adventure sport. One thing I have heard most about love is, it arises in a moment without giving you any notice. They say it just happens. In that moment people are probably not bothered to think about the driving forces that generate the feeling of romantic love in them. 

Surprisingly, the consequences of love are discussed vastly everywhere. However, hardly anyone speaks about the antecedents of love. What precedes the moment of realization is not known.

So, are all those things said, written, and experienced about love just speculations?

I still do not know how exactly I am supposed to understand this concept without experiencing it. I am not a pessimist to say that I would not ever fall in love. I would not be cynical and say that there are hardly any chances of me falling in love. I am a rational personal. The probability of me falling in love, with all the other things kept constant, is 50%. So, I just leave everything on this probability?

I still would say that the concept of love is unfair those who do not experience it. Because they do not have any way of learning what love is.

Seriously, what is love???